Where am I?” I looked around myself puzzled. Everything was upside down. The houses stood on their roofs, the cars were going backwards… I met a girl. Her feet were on her head.
“Where am I?” I asked her.
“’Uoy era ni edispU nwod yrtnuooc.”
I was amazed. I haven’t understood a word. I kept on walking. As I was walking I passed by something that should have been school. But, there was not a teacher there .and there were not students. I mean, you didn’t know who was who. Everybody was writing something, they were all sitting together helping each other. I entered the place.. Nobody moved, as they had expected me. A big word EMOCLEW looked at me from the whiteboard. I realized. I’m in Upside down country! Here, everything was upside down, I smiled with relief.
“But how did I come here?” I wondered. Then I remembered!
I was on my English class. The teacher told us to write the essay with the title “I saw A Monster.” While I was thinking what to write, I was drawing a big mushroom. At one moment, a monster popped out of it.
“Hi Ana, I’m Cipirip, your new friend”, he introduced. He was tall and big. He was bald headed with nine big stripped eyes, five arms and eight legs.
“I can fly” he said. “Would you like to fly with me?”
“Where to?” I asked. “If it’s far, I can’t. I must finish my essay.”
“No, no. It’s here somewhere, and it’s not a long journey.”
He took me into one of his hands and we flew.
I looked around myself. I couldn’t see him. Then I looked at my watch. What if I don’t come back until the end of the class? The teacher will yell at me, I’ll get one and will send me to the principal for leaving the class. I began to panic.
Then, suddenly, from I don’t know where, my new friend appeared. He smiled.
“You see”, he said “ this could be your life if you’d like”.
“No, thanks” I was relived because I saw him. “Take me back to my class. I like my friends there, I like my teacher even when she’s strict and yells at us. I like quarrelling with my brothers. I like everything there. THERE is my life!”
“Ana, where are you?” my teacher was angry and frowned. “Are you daydreaming instead of writing? “
I didn’t even try to explain her. (you could put "to" in between "explain" and "her".)


Peer Review from Ho Su:


1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

I would let this story teller live because at the beginning, I wanted to know how she got there, and how would it have ended.

2. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

It is creative, and the monster and the mushroom part was interesting.

3. Think about conflict. Does the story have a natural conflict? Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

As I said, the beginning was interesting because I wanted to find out how it ended. The resolution is nice, but I have read some other stories that finish like this, so maybe it could end by saying that the character tried to tell and no one believed her, or she writes a really good essay about it.

4. Think of characterization—are the characters realistic? Individual? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

The character (the monster) wasn't exactly realistic but it sounded like the monster was good fun. I think that the main character in the story seemed like she wasn't satisfied with her life (like quarrellings with her brothers, her strick teacher, etc.), but when she comes back from Upside down land, she realizes what she has.

5. Think of word choice, imagery, and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? Do any word choices need changing?

When she described about how the land looked, I could imagine how the character was confused, and when she met the girl, I could really imagine the feet on her head. Also, I could kind of hear the teacher when she was asking the character was day-dreaming or not.

6. On the level of "culture"--what do you think this writer is trying to reveal about the culture he/she lives in? Summarize what this story tells/shows about its culture in a sentence or two.

I have an impression that at her school, her English teacher is strict, and she quarrels with her brothers (which is common). She likes to day dream, and sometimes she would like to go to another world/land and experience new things.

7. Does this revelation of culture possess much insight or show you something unique? Do you get a picture of cultural practices? Of gender roles, love relationships, family roles, habits, religious practices, beliefs, food, social expectations, etc.? Should anything be thrown out? Added?

I didn't get much about the culture, but I did get about how school life over there might be, family roles, and social expectations. Maybe the writer could add more about what the country does or what the weather over there is like (breezy, hot, cold, etc.).

8. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Maybe the ending.

9. Summarize the theme of the story in a sentence or two. Don't just summarize the story, or say what its topic is--that's not theme. "Theme" is what the story reveals about the topic. So put your theme statement in this sort of pattern: "This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic)." Do your best here. You'll show the writer what his/her story DOES say, as opposed to what the writer WANTS it to say.

This story reveals that the story is saying that the writer is saying that the writer went to a land called Upside down land, and she wanted to go back to school to finish her essay. She prefers her world to the Upside down land.

10. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

This was good because the writing was descriptive enough, and the writer describes how she feels during this adventure. I think that I know what each character's personality is like, because I could picture them on their adventure in my head.